Posts filed under ‘Following Christ’
Reaching Rwanda…Together
I’m pretty excited to share about this next step in life for our dear friends Scott and Natasha Edinger (and their 3 awesome kids) and ignoring all the other feelings that are associated with them actually moving half a world away for a couple of years. Nonetheless, this is the beginning of a great new chapter in their life stories, and I am thankful and inspired by each of them! I hope you take a few minutes to read their newsletter as they prepare for what is next as they head to Rwanda.
Edinger Family Rwanda Letter - This links to a PDF you can easily download, print out, share, etc…
Local “Celebrities”
So in the last couple of weeks I’ve had a few people ask me, “Who’s this Tenley from Newberg on the Bachelor? Does she work with Nate?” And I say, “No, she doesn’t work with Nate. Her mom does though. I know, it’s a little misleading…” Our local news media has had a little frenzy in highlighting the most popular Bachelorette from Oregon. Whether it’s on Facebook, talking about it with married friends (some who love the show, some who cringe/hate it), or following the “latest” Bachelor news online… It’s all strange. (And I’m not really going to weigh in with my opinion because that’s not the point.) But it’s entertainment, right? Right. But it is also someone’s life, and that is what makes it slightly interesting from my perspective.
Today at church I sat near Tenley’s parents during our worship time. (Personally enjoyable, as they tend to really engage in time of worship through song…but I could quickly digress…) Anyway, as part of the Worship Planning Team, I knew what songs were going to come later and I knew what other aspects of the “service order” were coming, too. I knew that we were going to spend some time in prayer for people in Haiti. I also knew that we were going to celebrate the story of another “celebrity” couple that is now making local, national and even international news.
The dear young couple, Joel and Rachel Hoffman, have been living in Port-au-Prince for 4 months prior to last week’s earthquake. Their story of survival is a miracle. Nothing less. A pure, give God all the glory, miracle. So we celebrated as we shared a bit of their story, but we also continued to mourn and anguish over the past week’s events.
So somehow today right before we sang, “You are God Alone (not a god)” and the lines, “And right now, in the good times and bad, You are on Your throne, You are God alone…” I felt this indescribable not-quite-tension-but not-quite-peace moment. A few feet away are some parents with a daughter experiencing some pretty life-changing, following your dreams-type of circumstances. I know they are proud of their daughter. And I also know that they have also walked through some dark valleys in the past year as parents, which makes right now where there is love and support and laughter over something like Monday night “Bachelor” episodes, even that much sweeter.
Then a few feet away from them are two very dear people who are like Joel and Rachel’s spiritual parents, who spent a long night wondering if Joel and Rachel were alive, and who rejoice in their survival but also hurt for the hurts that they are experiencing physically, emotionally and mentally after having witnessed such a nightmare of devastation.
And we all sang. And we all worshipped. And we all acknowledged that God is on His throne. And I (think) we all meant it.
Today I realized a fraction more of the Power of God. (A significant revelation for me, but a fraction compared to what is.) It’s like there are some songs we sing that are songs of desperation, or songs where we are intimately recognizing our need to surrender to God, and hymns with rich theology and prayer-like language, and there are other songs where we can celebrate and “Sing Sing Sing” and be full of joy and wonder. But somehow this song, in the midst of seeing these people whose children’s faces have been plastered online in so many different ways…this song gave me a glimpse into this dual nature of the loving, tender, merciful God who we can trust in, but also this Alpha and Omega, sovereign, Creator God whose power “none can contend.”
It’s been a weird week, 180 degrees difference in thoughts from Monday night Bachelor viewing to Tuesday night earthquake praying. But all I know is that for all the ways that media can take any kind of story and run with it — the good, the bad, the heartbreaking, the devastating, the nauseating, the miraculous — I am so, so small. I know it could seem so trivial and insignificant to somehow correlate how the Bachelor fits into a blog post where the disaster in Haiti is mentioned, but I think God is big enough to handle my processing of life and worship and worship in life.
Advent vs. Real Life: Round 2
Round 2 of Advent vs. Real Life begins with Getting the Christmas Tree (The Almost a Complete Disaster Debacle). I just wanted to get a Christmas tree last Saturday. Not too complicated, right? Not too strange of a desire on December 5th? We borrowed the truck, bundled up, and headed up the hill to our favorite spot to cut the tree…the same place we always go. (Ahhh, there’s the key word: “always.” It is the cue for Plan B to be set in motion.)
“Oooops. We forgot the saw. Oh well, Ray (the property owner) always has a saw on hand to help.” Up the hill we go. To the lot we pull in…and oh…there’s a chain with a lock blocking the entrance and no sign of Ray. Hmmm. We look longingly at the trees just sitting there, all peacefully rooted in the ground.
Ray's Christmas Tree Lot: CLOSED
“Where do we go next? I have no idea. Do you have an idea? I saw a sign down the road…” Oh hang on you are calling your mom and getting 14 different ideas while the boys begin the “Where are we going? What are we doing?” distress signals. (Tension building.)
Skip said tension and jump ahead to finding a new lot to get a tree where “U Pick, We Cut’ thankfully. Oh look! I asked the boys to smile for a picture and little C goes back to stand next to brother to have their picture taken! This never happens!
Wow! They are both smiling in my general direction!
The selfish mother I am asked for more. (Dun Dun Duuunn.) Next picture (in much better lighting mind you) involves big brother putting little brother in a headlock and slamming him to the ground, head first. Yes, I was snapping a photo at the beginning of the moment.
Ugh.
The next 10 minutes involved soothing, consoling, the use of the words “ridiculous” and “awful” unfortunately said aloud too many times, a quick finding of the tree by me while Dad and big brother were in timeout, an agreement that this tree would work, a cutting, payment and hoisting into the truck. Follow this with screams of pain from little brother as we put him back in the carseat. The 5 minute drive home determined the need to go to Urgent Care because little brother wasn’t moving his right arm. Just like the time he got “Nursemaids Elbow” last year. So, forget the afternoon of the family being at home together for a much needed change of pace and family time, and Plan B included Family Time in the small cramped room of Urgent Care while kind Dr. Cal checked out little brother. Yes, I made big brother come on the sad adventure because I wanted him to see the pain his younger brother had to go through, especially if anything was broken, because I am so.tired. of big brother’s use of physical force on little brother. And there was no way big bro was staying home having fun with Dad while little brother was dealing with all this. Consequences, my dear child, consequences.
Fortunately for all of us, the second try of reattaching the elbow tendon or whatever it is called worked, and within minutes, my little man was restored. Nothing broken. No x-rays needed, just a painful and awful-to-watch twist and bend of the arm. Not to mention it was now 2 o’clock and smack in the middle of what would have been naptime and lunchtime was already missed because Urgent Care is a 45 minute drive from home. Consequences, dear me, these are the consequences of life with children.
Yes, my mind had visualized a day of fun, togetherness, doing Christmas-y things as part of celebrating and preparing for Christmas, but apparently, togetherness and “making Christmas memories” involves Urgent Care this year.
Hello Urgent Care
Both elbows in working order...
Advent vs. Real Life: Round 1
(You know it’s been awhile in blogland when it takes four tries to enter the correct password and really I only have two passwords that I use for everything and anything. Alas, I have found the “Add New Post” screen, so here goes.)
It’s Advent. Our church is Advent ‘conspiring’ which is a topic all unto itself. So I’m not going to talk about church community Advent, I’m going to share the little connection I made between what life has been like in our home and how borderline-ironic the issues at hand match the “technical” season we are in with this here Advent-Christmas stuff. Hmmm….
In many ways, Advent is a season of preparation and celebration of Christ’s birth. But what has the ‘real-life definition’ looked like this year?
First a disclaimer: I think there are certain circumstances and happenings in life that aren’t meant for sharing in blogland. There are people’s stories that are theirs to tell or not tell. But there are parts of life that when lived in community, in relationships with broken human people (all of us), that ripple out and have an effect on many other people. And sometimes, it’s all one big, gloppy mess. So I can’t share all about the messy messiness of life in explicit detail, but I’m realizing that maybe that’s the point. Maybe the point isn’t to dissect the details of the circumstances and figure out all the reasons why and how it all came to be, and what to do next, and what happened yesterday and today, and what could or should happen tomorrow. If that was The Point, we’d be pretty one dimensional and we’d be missing out on the point of Hope.
Which brings me back to Advent. So in E’s Sunday School class he made a small clay Advent wreath that holds birthday cake candles. Four pink ones and one white. It was sent home with instructions on baking it and what each candle meant and some ideas and Scriptures to read with each candle lighting. (I’m a little slow on the draw and will admit to not actually lighting the first two candles on the ‘correct’ Sundays. We finally had the first lighting last Friday. But whatever. I’m celebrating that we actually did it.)
Apparently, the first Sunday, which was November 29th, would have been the day that we celebrated by recognizing the Hope that Christ brought in His living, dying and resurrection.
The first week of Advent was challenging in our extended family. Challenging, exhausting, frustrating, maddening and discouraging. But at the end of the week, for as mentally and physically tired as I was, there was still a glimmer of hope. Sure, there were some uplifting circumstances, namely the trip to the Civil War game with my Dad where we watched our Ducks win. But there were also a few moments where I looked at my boys, all three of them, and realized that at the end of the day, no matter what the day held, that I had some anchors in life that transcended seemingly hopeless situations, things that are so completely out of my control. Some simple things, like hugs and smiles and little boys laughter, went a long way to fuel this perspective. And for me, perspective is a major factor on the road towards hope or hopelessness. Hope is fueled by believing in something that can not be seen, or felt even. Sometimes hope comes from looking outside of ourselves, but too many times, what we see doesn’t produce hope.
For the people in my life that have lost some of that hope, my prayers are for a simple spark of light, the true Light, Jesus, to catch your eyes, your heart and bring some perspective. It’s no mere coincidence that the first candle is the candle of Hope. It wasn’t a few Sunday School teachers idea to throw that word in there because it sounds nice. It’s the very word that is needed for these messy moments in life. Hope for change of circumstances, and hope for the perspective to see past them. Hope for our salvation. Hope for our restoration. Hope for our failures and pain to be transformed. Hope for something more than what we see.
“C” is for Cookie, and…
The letter of the week in E’s 4 year old preschool class this week was C. And to make things even cooler, E’s sharing day was Tuesday. He had been looking forward to his sharing day since the first day of school, and he flexed extremely well when the sharing bag came home with the note that he was to bring things that start with the letter C. That ruled out his most treasured motorcycle, which was atop his very long list of ‘things to bring for sharing.’ Immediately he went for some of his treasured cars. I asked if his teachers would mind if little Calum went to school with him for the day. E responded, “He moves too much.” Ah, yes, so true.
As he started rummaging for his Corvettes and Convertibles, I (unfortunately for him) started my best impersonation of the egyptian opera singer from old school Sesame Street song “C is for Cookie.” Then I had this freaking stuck in my head for about 2 days. (You know you want to watch it!!)
So continuing on my momma nuttiness for the day, anytime I would say something that started with C, I would tell E that he should take that for sharing. (If I was him, I would totally take a bag of Starbucks Verona and say, “This is one of my mom’s most treasured C things.”) He really wasn’t amused at any point in the day with my suggestions. Apparently I’m not cool already.
The big sharing day came and the cars were a hit with the boys, and the girls who shared brought things like cats and a comb and a Curious George doll. So many options for the letter C.
A couple of hours later when school was over, I picked up my special copy of the new Chip Heath & Dan Heath book, “Switch” (not officially released yet.) I can’t quote it as the cover says in all caps bold, “Not for sale. Please do not quote, blog or review until January 1, 2010.” Is this breaking the rules, mentioning that I am reading it and saying what it says on the cover? Hmmm. We’ll see.
Well I’m not going to break the rules any further, just in case. But I will say, that the reason I got the book was because I was enticed when hearing them speak at the Leadership Summit back in August, while I was experiencing the change of losing-turned-transitioning my job. They were talking about one of the most feared words for many: CHANGE. The book itself has a subtitle that goes something like this, “How to change things when change is hard.” So far, it’s quite good but I guess I’ll have to talk about it in a few months.
Last week, I was talking with a friend and I said, “I’d love if 2010 wasn’t a year of hard change.” There’s something in me that feels like we are just getting settled into something here in life, so I’m subconsciously bracing myself for some rock-my-little-world, earth shaking change with a high magnitude. It seems like we can look back over the last few+ years and identify some major changes that we have faced, adapted to, battled and/or conquered. I’m talking 6.2-9.0 on the emotional/mental/spiritual richter scale. Of course, change doesn’t always equal bad. As in one of our 2008 changes was the birth of little C. That’s a good change, but hey, it’s change in a pretty significant way.
I remember that 2004 was the year we bought our house, had our first child, my Grandma died (first grandparent in a season where three of them passed away within 13 months), Nate changed jobs and our basement started flooding on a regular basis. Sparing the details of what kind of significant changes and circumstances have happened in the last 5 years leads me to this whopping cliche, “Change is the only constant.”
Yep, one thing I feel pretty secure in is knowing that change is inevitable. Change can be enormously wonderful. Change can be disturbing and disruptive. Change can rock the boat so hard that I live just clinging to the life preserver sometimes. Change can add up and get heavy. (Yes, I’m being a doofus and smiling at the thought of the four jars of coins we keep around the house for all our extra coins.)
So what will this next year bring? Change, I’m sure. But like I told my friend, I’m just hoping, longing for the good kind. Whatever that may be. I’ll take a cookie at the very least.
An Issue with Extravagance
I got a little mad at God yesterday. I don’t totally feel guilty saying that just yet. I think God can handle it. I feel guilty for what I’m going to say about why I was a bit irked at God.
It’s all about provision, faithfulness and needs being met. These things have all happened recently, so the guilt I feel is the fact that I really have nothing to complain about. Truly, I could and probably should just shut up because in light of everything that happens to people, on a global scale and on a very minute, look around the neighborhood scale, I know that I am a blessed woman.
I just have my moments. My moment yesterday was the fact that in the last week we have spent just enough on our cars to basically wipe out our meager savings account, minus what we set aside monthly to pay for insurance. Here’s the deal. For the last few years (at least), every time there seems to be a little bit of build-up, a little bit of extra cash (remember those stimulus checks or tax refunds?) headed our way, something happens. That something is usually mechanical, with our cars winning out in this competition among inanimate but oh-so-useful objects. Tires, brakes, alternator, exhaust system/mufflers, etc. One time earlier this year, it was our washer. It wouldn’t spin out all the water. It cost $300 for the computer chip to be replaced. Frigginpieceofcrapcomputerchip.
When I am having a good moment, my perspective sounds like this: “Hmmm. So in other words, every time we have an ‘extra’ need, ‘extra’ pressure financially…it is taken care of.” Yes, that is true. Truetruetruetruetrue. So true. In my good moments, I’m deeply grateful for the moment of swiping the card or writing the check and knowing we will still eat well for the next month, and then I move on.
So, in a time where my paycheck has been cut once again recently, we could have actually found ourselves needing to put all our recent car expenditures on the credit card. (Which to my husband, this is basically like surrendering to the plague or some wretched disease. It is not an option as it only brings stress and excruciating consequences of mental anguish at the very least.) But we basically have the exact amount we need to cover everything in savings. Good, right?
Yes, good. But I had a little temper tantrum about it yesterday morning. Something about “just getting by” even if it is by supernatural provision and blessing somehow irritated me. Ugh. This is me in all my honestuglyself-ness.
I sat on my bed and thought, “I’m having a hard time with this because at some point I want to feel like there is an abundance of something. And right now, I want an abundance in our savings account.”
I’m tired of financial stuff like this defining my understanding of abundant life and God’s extravagant love and blessings. I think it has been hanging around in me, coming out in all sorts of mishmashed behaviors and thoughts that aren’t healthy. Yet I have moments where I can list pages and pages in my journal of the miraculous provisions of the last year, and years before that even. Lets talk about humbling, here… it’s truly amazing. I have an a m a z i n g husband, family and community. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with Stage IV non-Hodgkins lymphoma a year ago, and her health and healing is miraculous. There are significant people in my life experiencing remarkable life transformation that are evidence of God’s faithfulness and extravagant love and care for His children. I have found myself professionally and personally in a place of experiencing redemption and restoration in some working relationships, because that is the way God works: with love at His ultimate core.
So why is there something that disconnects when financial issues enter the picture?
It’s almost funny how my last post was about anger. Am I angry with God about the car crap? Am I angry that cars cost money? I’m probably a bit miffed that the money that goes to the old car keeps money from going to a newer car, one from this decade perhaps.
I don’t know if it’s really being angry at God or being angry at myself in a way. I don’t want to notice how cute fall clothes are. I don’t want to inadvertently cyberstalk people I barely (okay don’t at all) know who write about shopping extravaganzas at Anthropologie and Nordstrom and 11 other stores after they had spent the previous weekend picking out interior decor pieces for their newly built home. I don’t want to notice how many great everythings there are at Etsy. I don’t want to fantasize about camera lenses or housecleaning services. I don’t want to feel societal pressure to have a thoroughly coordinated (complete with handmade gift bags to send home with all the kids) birthday party for E next month.
I think my issue with extravagance comes down to what I want my definition of extravagance to be and what I experience with God. Can I live from a place of peace (in my mind and heart) when the stuff of life feels more like we are just getting by? Can I be thankful and content in the blessing of constant provision? Can “constant provision” equate to knowing I am abundantly cared for? (Always. No matter what my mechanic tries to tell me.) And then, can my attitude toward God be one of extravagant love, adoration and thanks returned to Him?
…
