Posts filed under ‘Christmas Thoughts’
Advent vs. Real Life: Round 2
Round 2 of Advent vs. Real Life begins with Getting the Christmas Tree (The Almost a Complete Disaster Debacle). I just wanted to get a Christmas tree last Saturday. Not too complicated, right? Not too strange of a desire on December 5th? We borrowed the truck, bundled up, and headed up the hill to our favorite spot to cut the tree…the same place we always go. (Ahhh, there’s the key word: “always.” It is the cue for Plan B to be set in motion.)
“Oooops. We forgot the saw. Oh well, Ray (the property owner) always has a saw on hand to help.” Up the hill we go. To the lot we pull in…and oh…there’s a chain with a lock blocking the entrance and no sign of Ray. Hmmm. We look longingly at the trees just sitting there, all peacefully rooted in the ground.
Ray's Christmas Tree Lot: CLOSED
“Where do we go next? I have no idea. Do you have an idea? I saw a sign down the road…” Oh hang on you are calling your mom and getting 14 different ideas while the boys begin the “Where are we going? What are we doing?” distress signals. (Tension building.)
Skip said tension and jump ahead to finding a new lot to get a tree where “U Pick, We Cut’ thankfully. Oh look! I asked the boys to smile for a picture and little C goes back to stand next to brother to have their picture taken! This never happens!
Wow! They are both smiling in my general direction!
The selfish mother I am asked for more. (Dun Dun Duuunn.) Next picture (in much better lighting mind you) involves big brother putting little brother in a headlock and slamming him to the ground, head first. Yes, I was snapping a photo at the beginning of the moment.
Ugh.
The next 10 minutes involved soothing, consoling, the use of the words “ridiculous” and “awful” unfortunately said aloud too many times, a quick finding of the tree by me while Dad and big brother were in timeout, an agreement that this tree would work, a cutting, payment and hoisting into the truck. Follow this with screams of pain from little brother as we put him back in the carseat. The 5 minute drive home determined the need to go to Urgent Care because little brother wasn’t moving his right arm. Just like the time he got “Nursemaids Elbow” last year. So, forget the afternoon of the family being at home together for a much needed change of pace and family time, and Plan B included Family Time in the small cramped room of Urgent Care while kind Dr. Cal checked out little brother. Yes, I made big brother come on the sad adventure because I wanted him to see the pain his younger brother had to go through, especially if anything was broken, because I am so.tired. of big brother’s use of physical force on little brother. And there was no way big bro was staying home having fun with Dad while little brother was dealing with all this. Consequences, my dear child, consequences.
Fortunately for all of us, the second try of reattaching the elbow tendon or whatever it is called worked, and within minutes, my little man was restored. Nothing broken. No x-rays needed, just a painful and awful-to-watch twist and bend of the arm. Not to mention it was now 2 o’clock and smack in the middle of what would have been naptime and lunchtime was already missed because Urgent Care is a 45 minute drive from home. Consequences, dear me, these are the consequences of life with children.
Yes, my mind had visualized a day of fun, togetherness, doing Christmas-y things as part of celebrating and preparing for Christmas, but apparently, togetherness and “making Christmas memories” involves Urgent Care this year.
Hello Urgent Care
Both elbows in working order...
Advent vs. Real Life: Round 1
(You know it’s been awhile in blogland when it takes four tries to enter the correct password and really I only have two passwords that I use for everything and anything. Alas, I have found the “Add New Post” screen, so here goes.)
It’s Advent. Our church is Advent ‘conspiring’ which is a topic all unto itself. So I’m not going to talk about church community Advent, I’m going to share the little connection I made between what life has been like in our home and how borderline-ironic the issues at hand match the “technical” season we are in with this here Advent-Christmas stuff. Hmmm….
In many ways, Advent is a season of preparation and celebration of Christ’s birth. But what has the ‘real-life definition’ looked like this year?
First a disclaimer: I think there are certain circumstances and happenings in life that aren’t meant for sharing in blogland. There are people’s stories that are theirs to tell or not tell. But there are parts of life that when lived in community, in relationships with broken human people (all of us), that ripple out and have an effect on many other people. And sometimes, it’s all one big, gloppy mess. So I can’t share all about the messy messiness of life in explicit detail, but I’m realizing that maybe that’s the point. Maybe the point isn’t to dissect the details of the circumstances and figure out all the reasons why and how it all came to be, and what to do next, and what happened yesterday and today, and what could or should happen tomorrow. If that was The Point, we’d be pretty one dimensional and we’d be missing out on the point of Hope.
Which brings me back to Advent. So in E’s Sunday School class he made a small clay Advent wreath that holds birthday cake candles. Four pink ones and one white. It was sent home with instructions on baking it and what each candle meant and some ideas and Scriptures to read with each candle lighting. (I’m a little slow on the draw and will admit to not actually lighting the first two candles on the ‘correct’ Sundays. We finally had the first lighting last Friday. But whatever. I’m celebrating that we actually did it.)
Apparently, the first Sunday, which was November 29th, would have been the day that we celebrated by recognizing the Hope that Christ brought in His living, dying and resurrection.
The first week of Advent was challenging in our extended family. Challenging, exhausting, frustrating, maddening and discouraging. But at the end of the week, for as mentally and physically tired as I was, there was still a glimmer of hope. Sure, there were some uplifting circumstances, namely the trip to the Civil War game with my Dad where we watched our Ducks win. But there were also a few moments where I looked at my boys, all three of them, and realized that at the end of the day, no matter what the day held, that I had some anchors in life that transcended seemingly hopeless situations, things that are so completely out of my control. Some simple things, like hugs and smiles and little boys laughter, went a long way to fuel this perspective. And for me, perspective is a major factor on the road towards hope or hopelessness. Hope is fueled by believing in something that can not be seen, or felt even. Sometimes hope comes from looking outside of ourselves, but too many times, what we see doesn’t produce hope.
For the people in my life that have lost some of that hope, my prayers are for a simple spark of light, the true Light, Jesus, to catch your eyes, your heart and bring some perspective. It’s no mere coincidence that the first candle is the candle of Hope. It wasn’t a few Sunday School teachers idea to throw that word in there because it sounds nice. It’s the very word that is needed for these messy moments in life. Hope for change of circumstances, and hope for the perspective to see past them. Hope for our salvation. Hope for our restoration. Hope for our failures and pain to be transformed. Hope for something more than what we see.
Pondering these things in my heart
We read the “classic” version of the Christmas story this morning. (Luke 2) How many times have I heard this particular version, where there is no room in the inn, there appears a heavenly host, there are stars and shepherds, mangers and one woman’s beginning of motherhood.
The new mother part is what is sticking with me this Christmas morning as one child naps and the other is playing Clue Jr. with his Daddy.
I gave birth this year, after four days of labor, which included two trips to the hospital, little food, even less sleep and one triumphant delivery of my second son. I have a birth story, and it has very low lows and unforgettable moments of perseverance and strength (sometimes my own, often that of others.) But there are plenty of other details to the four days of labor, which include intensity and pain, contractions, baths, bathroom business, tears, blood, needles, blood pressure cuffs, monitors, cords, heartbeats, charts, nurses, dear friends, family, cameras and two wonderful midwives.
Mary, she had her dear fiance Joseph. And maybe a stable boy? Probably some sort of group of travelers that were making their way to Bethlehem, which hopefully included some family members. Most likely some animals were in near proximity, and most definitely their unsanitized trough.
How long had she been having contractions?
Who was there to hold her hand? (I mean seriously, how involved do you really think men were during birth back then? )
What about towels or water or pillows?
Where did she lie down and rest afterward?
Did she tear? Who ‘caught’ the baby? What about the umbilical cord? What about the messy part of delivery? Was she able to breastfeed him right away or was she in agonizing pain and exhaustion?
Birth is so intense. Imagine how much more for a young, unmarried, traveler who had encountered angels, experienced a miraculous conception, and probably had a glimpse of the enormous responsibility ahead of her…let alone simply being a first time mom.
I wonder what those birth moments were like for her. I wonder what the moments afterward were like.
I cried, my husband cried, we inhaled the newborn smell and nuzzled tiny ears and fingers. Time felt slowed down yet as if it was moving so quickly around us as we were congratulated and fed and physically attended to. There was little sleep initially as adrenalin and pure joy coursed through us, and soon we were surrounded by family and friends who came to celebrate with us.
This morning, we read how the shepherds quickly followed the word of the angels to visit this new baby, Christ the Lord. So Mary and Joseph had visitors, too. But they didn’t know each other beforehand. I wonder how that encounter went, did they mention angels or stars? What did Mary and Joseph think as these shepherds arrived, “And so it begins???”
But what about that time right after Jesus’ birth, before the shepherds arrived? Was there a holy stillness in the stable? Was there a sense of peace and joy? You know those moments when it feels like God’s presence is thick and tangible, did it feel like that? I mean, obviously they were holding Jesus, so that is pretty ‘tangible’ but was there something even more to it? As I think about it, I bet there was. And I hope for this brave little family, that it lasted hours rather than minutes. I hope it gave them peace and encouragement that what they had faced was nothing compared to the triumph that had occurred through their obedience intertwined with the presence of God.
I hope there is a day where I can hear the unabridged version of this story. (After all, I always love love love hearing birth stories.) But for today, I will let my imagination roam freely as I ponder stories and moments in my life of experiencing the gift of Emmanuel, God with us.
my best friend supporting me
What I Wanted for Christmas?
The last 10 days have been a challenge for me. It all began with my ambitions being loftier than my physical limitations at 8 months pregnant. I just wanted to clean my house…that’s all. I get great satisfaction in a sucking up dust bunnies with the vacuum hose and from the smells of scrubbed floors and dusted furniture. It’s okay to like these things, but as I have been told repeatedly from my husband, my family, my friends, my chiropractor, my midwife…it’s time to ask for help. It’s time to acknowledge I can’t do it all (aka “life”) the way I want to.
The clean house led to intensely strained abdominal muscles which led to a migraine and nausea and quite a bit of discouragement. I know my personality type well enough to know that part of how I gauge my sense of well-being is by how many items are crossed off my to do list. My to do list also includes loving and interacting and spending time with Eli, and just doing life together with him, especially in these last couple of months before baby brother turns his world upside down. My abilities to accomplish any of this lately has been severely limited as my days and nights have been spent in bed or tucked into our couch.
- A word about my husband–AMAZING. In the midst of all of this, where I can give little, he has given above and beyond. He has been the solid presence that Eli has needed, he has been available, tender, giving and abnormally positive. I am blessed. -
And a word about God in this. I don’t think this is just a situation for us to deal with…I think there is always something to be learned, for ourselves and about God’s character. I recognize that my emotional discouragement and disappointment with not being able to do all that I want to do these weeks before Christmas, might actually be in line with my prayers and hopes for learning how to be counter-cultural during this time of year. So maybe I thought we were being different by not going to the mall, and not buying each other gifts, and not making a “What I Want for Christmas” list. But I think there is more to it.
The thing that I have heard from nearly every single person I have talked to in the last two weeks, regardless of how well we know each other is, “let me help you!” How easy is it to ask for help? Seriously? How easy it is to acknowledge in word and in action that you CAN’T ‘______’(you fill in the blank)?
I think this is quite significant for this particular season because the whole reason Jesus left His throne in heaven for a stinky manger and life as a misunderstood man, was because we humans have a tremendous need for help, an innate lack of power and lack of ability to fix our lives and the world around us. So here He is, once again in my life saying, “Let Me help you. You can’t do it all on your own.” In fact, I could look choose to look at it as a gift. Just like my midwife said, “It’s Christmas. Let people help you as their gift to you. They probably really want to give in this way if they are offering.” That sounds like it could be what Jesus has said, too.
From the Inside Out
“A thousand times I’ve failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I’m caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out…”
- Hillsong United, 2006
I was listening to this song early in the morning this week. On my iPod when you select the playlist of “25 Most Played” songs, this is the #1 song. So in other words, I’ve listened to it a few times. However, I haven’t listened to it much in recent days, so this week, it re-connected in my heart and mind. It’s all part of how the Holy Spirit has been generously at work breathing something fresh and transforming into my life lately. (*Amen*)
I’ve been thinking about Christmastime and Advent this week. I’ve been thinking about areas in my life where I can engage in some liturgical, traditional practices that are rich with meaning and physical acts of devotion to Christ. How can I do this is in my home with Nate and Eli; and in our church as we plan each Sunday service; and in my own busy-ness of everyday activities? I am burdened, gratefully, because I think as a culture this is a time of year of a lot of routine behavior that can suffocate the meaning and space that Christ wants to occupy as we remember Him. And I think that the Holy Spirit is in the business of encouraging me to live a bit more counter-cultural these days.
Part of the encouragement came for me as I reflected on the words (and powerful music) of this song, “From the Inside Out.” Words and concepts like “everlasting”, “when all else fades”, “the art of losing myself in bring You praise…”
It’s so cliche to talk about how much we are a “Consumer” society, and this year with tempting kicker-checks and a baby growing within, it becomes that much harder to not want to just consume…things, gifts, tasty food, and stuff that can bring a moment of joy or pleasure. But then I hear the passionate cry of the singer as he sings,
“In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out…”
And I am challenged, encouraged, and motivated to be and do something different with the days that I have to live out what I believe to be true. The Lord is everlasting, worthy, the light of our world, my Forgiveness for the times of failure, and the King that made Himself so low that He would walk this earth, be tempted, be human, be misunderstood, be mistreated, be killed and be resurrected because of His love for each of us.
Simple truths, at times. Doing, living, being “from the inside out…” though is the complicated part. I pray the Holy Spirit continues on in this season of redefining, refining and rejuvenating…
P.S. – The song is from the Hillsong United album, “United We Stand” and is definitely worth getting on iTunes or Amazon or somewhere. Oh, and you can see a YouTube video of the song to hear it – complete with people singing their hearts out off-key and everything 
… but it still stirs me.
