empty praise

The Approval Issue

April 27, 2007 at 9:37 pm 2 comments

I think one of the greatest joys and most profound obstacles we encounter in life relates to approval and especially the need for approval from other people. The need for approval gets many people into unfortunate relationships and circumstances. We take up habits, ways of talking, acting, even thinking, just to show that we are worthy of the relationship, role or recognition.

As a follower of Christ, this innate need for approval can be an even bigger obstacle. When I decided to commit my whole life to Christ, to embrace His Word as truth, to follow His teaching and to live a life that is a testimony to His redemptive grace, power and love, I was basically saying to Him: “Your approval is the only approval that really matters.” I just didn’t know this at the time of making that decision. I didn’t know that this whole approval issue would be one of the greatest obstacles to whole-heartedly following and worshipping Him.

Following Him does not mean that I will deny any form of approval, recognition, praise or acceptance from other people. It just means that I have to constantly keep in perspective the question of “who’s voice am I seeking as truth in my life?” I struggle with this. It is often that I find looking toward my friends, my co-workers, my family and my husband to speak or act in ways that demonstrate that I am of value, even praise-worthy. I believe God intends for me to hear His voice in their words or actions that make me feel good about myself.

I believe this is especially true because one of the enemy’s playgrounds in my mind is when I let him litter lies into my way of thinking: “You are not good enough for_________….You aren’t as good as (liked as, capable as, attractive as, smart as)_________…You think you are better than you really are…etc.” The one I really wrestle with is, “If people really knew you and what you are like, what you do and think about, then they would not be saying any of these great things about you.”

There is something relieving in facing those arrows head on with the truth of grace, forgiveness and love. But I think the fact for many people, especially women, is that when we try to face the lies that the enemy twists into our ‘self-talk’, we then begin to seek affirmation that they are in fact lies from other people. For me, it is hard work to run to the Scripture and find appropriately poetic and powerful words to replace the bad thinking. It’s hard to quiet my mind to hear His voice over my own. I can’t say it much more eloquent than that – it’s just hard. It’s somehow easier, and in fact even more natural, to turn to a trusted friend and say, “I’m struggling here. I am discouraged…” and then to hear their loving response. I know that God wants me to hear their words as His, but I find myself often mistaking and taking their voice to be the voice that wields the most power.

“Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise.”

It often takes weeks or even months of this pattern of wrestling and receiving for me to notice that I have allowed the relationships with my closest companions to replace the truth-giving relationship with my Creator and Savior. Am I alone in this repetitive battle? I think not. I just think that people mentally bury their need for approval all the while wearing it on their sleeve as they go about living, working, relating and serving.

It’s such a complex issue. I want my husband, my children, my family and friends to know they are known, loved and accepted. I strive to be an encourager and truth-speaker because I hate the deception and pain the lies of the enemy can create in God’s beloved. I just wish that for my own journey, I wouldn’t trip and stumble about so often.

Entry filed under: Faith, Life, Worship. Tags: "Christian living", "need for approval", approval, Faith, Life, Worship.